I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Drake has all the answers
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
