none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
