I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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