i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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