Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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