Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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