when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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