You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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