I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
