Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
