OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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