fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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