Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
