Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
