After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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