i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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