I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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