:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
