who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She told me I should be a condom model.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
