At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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