I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize