You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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