it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
