She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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