what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
