I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
