you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
