Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
