He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we're making bets on your personal life
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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