it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your cock deserves a montage
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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