I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'd cum for enchiladas.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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