Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
