i think my tv is drunk
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
