There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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