Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My hand turned me down
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
