what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
