Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
