Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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