another moral hangover. fuck.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize