i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize