Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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