In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
