I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
