saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
