pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
