I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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