I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
