my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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