don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
dude. I can hear the air.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
