what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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