I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize