you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
