i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
