you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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