nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
