New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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