If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
