haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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