i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
