wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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