I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
